Do you ever just feel like you won't fit in?
I will share my story, leaving out some details.
Since day one, I was different than the rest of my siblings. They all had met my dad, he had been a dad to them. But to me, I didn't know him, never met him. He passed away before I was born. Not his fault. Then what became of my family moved to Florida from California. We lived there for not too long. Then we moved to Michigan. I grew up in a private school, set apart from some kids because I wanted to be the best. I wanted to do good in school, but I also struggled emotionally. I didn't know what it was like to have a dad when all the rest of the kids did. I felt like I was missing something. When my mom started dating this new guy and I got to meet him, I liked him a lot. But due to trauma that took place when I was 4 and trauma that took place from age 8 to age 12, I no longer could be like the rest of the kids. I didn't know how to be. In the fifth grade, I went to a public school. But even then, I wasn't like the rest of my peers. Things took place at that school in seventh grade and I went back to my old school for a year. For half the year, I wasn't accepted. Everyone else was a group and I wasn't included. But when ninth grade came, I truely believed that things would be different. A new start, a new school, and nobody knew my past or anything. Even now, those who think they know me the best, barely know me at all. As in shrek, I am like an anion, with several layers, each revealing more about me, even I do not know all them. Ninth grade was full of struggles as i tried to make friends, keep friends, and satisfy everyone's needs. I couldn't do it. Things started building, and before I knew it, I had a wall around me. It was bulit partially before, from trauma, and my past, but even my past caught up to me in my new school. Tenth grade came. That is where I am dwelling right now. This year has been the toughest battle yet. I lost friends who I thought were true friends, but truth comes out eventually. Then sent to a hospital for 2 weeks. I learned things about me that I didn't know before. I'm trying to find the spot where I fit it, but sometimes, I think some people were meant to stick out. Some people may not belong in one place, but in several places at once. With each thing that went on in my life, I learned something new. I'm still learning. So, purpose of this is to tell you that you do belong. But maybe not necessarily fit in. And that's okay. People do care about you when you don't believe it. But they do. So do it.